Shew, is that ever true in the Flohr house right now. As you continue in Ecclesiastes 3, you'll see the many seasons that exist in life: being born, dying, planting, reaping, healing, laughing, mourning etc. And I am now convinced there is a season for rule breaking. Here goes:
I thought my biggest challenge in bringing home my 3rd baby was going to be me: When will I sleep, shower, eat, feel like me again, get skinny again. All of that. Well, I learned on my 2nd day home that my struggles with self were going to be the least of my worries. Let's bring in Exibit B: Our other awesome pictures of happiness and sweetness. Our 4 and 2 year olds. We were in an amazing rythm with these two before baby Graydi was born. Landri and Malachi couldn't wait to meet their new brother or sister. We had an awesome daily routine for summer from our trips to the pool, lunches at the park, enjoying the outdoors riding bikes, seeing friends, going for ice cream and then an amazing nap and bedtime schedule too. I never even gave thought to the struggles that would grip their little lives when this new one came home to actually stay, live with us, and be part of our family. Malachi has struggled the most.
Normally such an easy going and tender 2 year old, he has become some kind of irritable little guy. There are offenses in our home that are automatic disciplinary actions because the kids know them by heart that they are against the rules and call for discipline. We won't go into all of them, but I can tell you that one of them is destroying things for the sake of being destructive. Two days ago Malachi opened his new box of crayons given to us by our sweet neighbor and snapped them all...then came and proudly announced to me "I just broke my box of crayons!" (all with a smile). I immediately saw the cry for attention. Meanwhile, I am giving more of myself individually to Malachi and Landri than I did at the end of my exhausting pregnancy. So, it'd hard on me to think that it's not enough. So, I sent him to his room but before getting the spank spoon, I thought, How can I spank for this? So, I smacked the gavel in my heart and thought of Ecclesiastes 3 and said this is a season for breaking the rules. And I mean breaking my own rules...I'm not letting my toddlers become wild and crazy, I'm just going to be more gracious on my end. He lost privileges with those crayons for two days (just finally getting them back this morning) but I dismissed my automatic spank rule for his destruction, and I'm ok with that. It has happened more since. He hammered my walls with a toy hairdryer that same day. Ugh! But I broke the rules again and instead had a sweet heart-to-heart with him where he came right out and told me he doesn't like that I'm with Graydi so much. He has made comments that Graydi doesn't "neeeeeed" to eat. etc. I am learning that we should not set any expectations for good or bad because what we thought would be just isn't always so. I thought Malachi would immediately recognize his future sword-fighting buddy, but he sees a bit of a contender instead. Fortunately, Malachi still kisses and hugs his brother and desires to hold him, but I see his inner struggle with obeying and being sweet, and he is as confused about it as ever. I know he doesn't even know who it's aimed at. :( sigh.
Then there's my "Sis."
She's so responsible and helping. Nothing in her resents her new real life doll...but something in her is feeling neglected too. Even though on my first day home from the hospital I considered my rotting bananas an opportunity to be with Landri like old times in the kitchen baking, and even though I've spent alone time with her playing Uno and doing nails while Graydi sleeps, THIS is what I saw immediately after the comment "But Moooooom, what about me!?"
She was pouting on the swing right after a picnic lunch where I had put myself through soreness and unrest to play baseball in the back yard yesterday. I had to run in the house to get something (for the baby I'm sure) and I heard her say those heart jabbing words: "What about me?" I looked out, saw this image and knew it was blog time. She apparently wanted a push. She hasn't needed pushed in weeks. She can pump her legs so high it's dangerous. But clearly, she too needed me in a way that I don't even think she gets. So the next rule that got broken was mine again. The heck with the house, the heck with the vacuum. The heck with everything (except for a clean kitchen and fresh laundry because we just can't function without those two). So I'm writing this for self therapy, to make it officially okay to be in a season of rule breaking, but also to encourage any of you Mom's who feel defeated with one child or many. Defeated because you aren't super mom and because you too can't keep up with everything even though you may stay home with your kids every day. It's just a grace thing. We need to lean on the Lord for strength every single day. When the times get hard we need to turn to Nehemiah 8:10: "The joy of the Lord is my strength."
There is even a song about it, and I can honestly say when I feel a curse word coming on, this is the phrase I work effortlessly to insert instead. I've taught this song to my kids, and truly it is so restoring for the spirit. The Lord is on our side. He is working all things to good, Romans 8:28...and we have to trust that the Holy Spirit will descend on us and give us grace to get through....each season.
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